Is it a good idea to get back with your ex? Should I tell my ex I want to get back together? Here Are 10 Things To Consider
Ending a relationship is never easy. It's always an unpleasant process that irritates both of you and makes you wonder if you made the correct choice.
Sometimes, despite what your head was telling you, as you broke it off, your heart continues to ask, “what if?”
What if you’d stayed together and gave things another go?
What if you get back together now and give things another go?
Getting back together with your ex is not a decision to be taken lightly. It's not an easy decision to make when you've got a whirlwind of contradictory feelings rushing around within your head. You wonder if it’s just going to be a waste of time or whether this could be the turning point in both your lives.
If you’re not sure what to do, here are ten things you need to consider:
Time Has Since Passed
Does time heal all wounds? Possibly not, but it heals some wounds. Perhaps the two of you just needed some time apart to freshen your minds, do some soul searching and discover what it is that you want and need out of this relationship.
It could even be that time apart has matured the two of you, and settled you both down, so that you’re now ready for this relationship.
They say that we don’t know what we’ve got until it’s gone, and it could be that time apart has made you realize exactly what made you two so great together.
You’re Pretty Miserable
When you broke up with your partner, you probably didn’t expect to be so miserable. You thought it would be fun to starfish in your big bed on your own, but waking up alone sucks. The dark is scaring you, and you’ve got no one to have pillow talk with.
Worse still, you don’t want to get out of bed anymore. You miss him.
Post-breakup life isn’t easy for some. If it’s making you miserable, consider calling him up.
The Problem Isn’t Fatal
Sometimes, problems in a relationship can’t really be fixed. For example, if one person converts to religion and the other can’t bring themselves to do it, there might be too much tension to overcome in the future.
Ask yourself whether your and your partner’s problem is fatal or if it’s fixable.
Maybe you guys broke up because he had to move to a different city, or you wanted to go back to school. At the time, these problems seemed too difficult to overcome, but it might be that you’ve since come up with a solution.
Take some time to analyze the situation and figure out a resolution correctly. There is nothing worse than breaking up because of something that could be fixed.
You’re Willing To Make Compromises
When you were together, you couldn’t stand his dogs and his homemade curries. He disliked your friends and how you’d drag him out shopping. You refused to see him unless the dogs were nowhere to be seen, and he’d grump each time he was out shopping with you.
But things are different now. You’re both willing to make compromises for the sake of your relationship.
You Want The Same Things Now
A few years back, my ex and I broke up because we wanted different things. He hated the idea of settling down and having kids, and he refused to give up some of his worse bad habits. He smoked too much, and I didn’t like it.
As the months went on, he started to cut down on his habits, realizing they were no good for him. He also stopped partying altogether and decided that he wanted children after all.
Sometimes this happens. Your relationship may have ended because you both wanted different things, but as we get older, we change. It may be that now you both want what each other wants.
See What Your Mom Says
Do moms know us better than we know ourselves? Very possibly. If you’re unsure of what to do, it’s a good idea to ask your mom. She will have your best interests at heart, and she’ll be able to give you some solid, parental advice.
You don’t have to act on what she says, but it’s worth knowing what she’s thinking.
The Grass Was Not Greener
At first, ending a relationship can be liberating. You start meeting new people again, and you get back on the dating scene. It’s fun, and you can’t wait to see who else is out there.
Eventually, you realize that, actually, the grass is not greener. What is out there is not what you want. Nobody can measure up to your ex, and you realize that you want them back.
his happens. If you’ve been in dating limbo ever since the two of you broke up, you might want to think about returning to your partner and working on what you had. They might have their flaws, but they were the best, and you know it.
You Guys Really Were The Best Together
Your friends tell you that you guys were such a cute couple.
“You were the best together. I miss our double dates!”
If you two were so compatible that you can’t imagine being with anyone else, you might want to reconsider.
You Believe In Second Chances
Maybe he did something wrong. Perhaps he did something so bad that it was enough for you to end it.
But if you believe in giving people second chances, you might want to reconsider your decision. Does your partner really deserve to be cast aside like this? Or does he deserve another shot?
Maybe the experience was something you can both learn from. Perhaps it was a mistake, and you can now use this opportunity to grow your relationship.
He’s Genuinely Sorry
If you broke up because of something he did, you probably spent a few days and weeks seething.
But now that the dust has settled and he’s been brave enough to apologize, it might be worth hearing him out.
You need to trust your partner, and him saying sorry is a significant step forward. Naturally, some things are impossible to get over, but if this is a relationship that can be fixed with some talking, it’s well worth your time trying it.
Stay happy!